Hearts in Denial
by April231
Summary: Bella thought she put this all behind her but a surprise run in with someone from her past may have her questioning all the decisions she thought were necessary. Has she made a terrible mistake or are old feelings just hard to get rid of?
1. Chapter 1

The wind whipped my hair around my face momentarily blocking my view. The skaters glided and twirled along the ice seemingly with not a care in the world. Discreetly I turned to peek at my daughter. Her eyes were transfixed, in wonder at the magic of the people all wrapped in scarves and gloves dancing across the icy rink. I smiled to myself. Ah, to be young again and be amazed at the things that growing older gradually stole the wonder and magic from.

"Mommy I wanna!" I bit my lip, trying to hide the sadness from my face. As much as I loved watching I'd never actually learned to ice skate myself. At one point I had started to but...no that line of thinking was dangerous territory. I knew better than to go skipping down memory lane. I had a bad habit of stumbling and getting cuts and bruises, or worse.

"Not tonight honey. Let's go back to the room." Reluctantly my little girl took my hand and walked with me onto the busy city streets of New York. Every year I booked a hotel so Annabelle could see the amazement of the city during the holidays.

"Oooh lights mommy." Once again she had the power to brighten my world even when my thoughts went to it's darkest corners.

"Yeah see all the snowflakes." Her eyes sparkled as we passed the twinkling light-up decorations hanging on all the buildings. Despite my best efforts, and my daughter's childish glee, tears formed in the corners of my eyes and slid slowly down my cheek. I knew coming here every year would be hard on me but it just felt only fair Annabelle got all the advantages I could give her considering what she was missing. At this point it was getting late and the thought of cooking was exhausting. Gathering all my strength, I wiped away the tears, pasted a smile across my lips and scooped my daughter into my arms. "Hey, what do you say we get some pizza?" Belle squealed and clapped her little hands.

"Pizza, pizza." Still holding Belle in my arms I slipped into the pizza parlor across from our hotel and studied the menu. Honestly this was pointless since I already knew exactly what I was getting but for some reason I felt the need to take a minute to gather my resolve.

"Can I help you." The cashier took my out of my own thoughts and I stepped forward.

"Yes can I please have a small cheese pie." Without another word he turned and began preparing my order. With a sigh I sank into the first empty table and sat Belle on my lap. Her eyes were growing heavy and it seemed more increasingly likely I'd be eating alone. Not that that was new to me. Pedestrians crossed back and forth outside the window and somehow the repetition seemed to sooth me.

"Cheese pie!" I jerked and stiffly got to my feet, maneuvering Belle so as not to wake her up.

"Thanks." By now I'd lost my appetite but it was too late to just go home so I paid and quietly left. It was now snowing and the wind had picked up significantly. Shielding my daughter from the worst of it I hurried to the street corner, avoiding others rushing past and around me. I now regretted not wearing my winter coat even though it was mild earlier.

"We can worry about it on Monday." I'd only been half listening but that voice stopped my cold. Annoyed tourists swerved to avoid me. I didn't notice any of them. My whole world was focused on that voice and it's owner._ Not possible. After everything I did to get away. _Before I could think better of it, my head whipped around and scanned the faces everywhere within a fifteen foot radius of me. Finally my eyes locked onto him. Just as I remembered in those three years ago. Almost as if time stopped since then. Was it possible I was just imagining all this? Maybe I hadn't realized how tired I was. Or perhaps all those memories of the past had caused hallucinations. I closed my eyes and shook my head hoping to clear away the images my grief-stricken brain my creating. Nope, still there like an angel from my memories. For just a moment I simply couldn't move. My brain said walk, run, cross the street, do something but I was rooted to the ground. My feet refused to receive the message. The city life around me slowed to snails pace until I didn't even notice it existed. And that's when he chose to look my way at the same moment Annabelle cried, "hungry!"


	2. Chapter 2

For just a moment my heart locks up and I simply can't move. Belle is the only thing that can snap me back to myself. "Pizza, mommy." I shook my head as if to remove the suffocating memories that pressed down on me. I tentatively stepped forward not positive whether I was heading toward him or away.

"Edward," I whispered and the wind carried it away as if I'd said nothing. It was surprisingly early for him to be getting off work. Usually he stayed until at least after midnight. A soft voice inside my head reminded me that that was the man I knew 3 years ago. Things can change immensely in that amount of time. And some things remain exactly the same.

Five Years Earlier

_My hands shook as I settled into the seat next to a window. Despite what I'd told my father I was terrified of what might happen when I reached the city. Would they be able to tell just by looking I was completely out of my element? Maybe small town roots was something you could smell on someone if you try hard enough. A women carrying a bag big enough to carry a small car slides into the bench beside me. _

_"I hate Mondays, I can never seem to make it on time." I smiled politely at her unsure of how to respond. "It's a good thing I'm the boss," she whispers, winking at me. She had the kind of carefree air about her that I'd never had not matter how comfortable a situation I was in. "You heading to the city?" I turned from looking out the window and smiled_

_"Yeah, it's my first time too." Her eyes widened. _

_"Wow, you better be ready." Aw, and just when my stomach was starting to relax too. I was really regretting letting my dad make me a big breakfast. It was both an "I'm sorry" and "good luck" mini feast. He'd been less than happy to find out I was moving to New York for a job opportunity I never expected to get. I was going to be a reporter for a local newspaper. Not exactly the career path I assumed I would be on but one I accepted just the same. "Don't worry, it's really not as bad as people make it out to be. Once you get used to it you'll wonder what all the fuss is about." For the first time I notice a small rise of her stomach indicating she's pregnant. For some reason the thought makes me smile and I find myself warming up to her. _

"_I just got a job working for a newspaper." I didn't have to say it, because I'm sure my voice told her how nervous this made me. _

"_Wow good for you, and you're so young too. I work as a secretary in a doctor's office." She playfully rolled her eyes. "Living the high life I know." Again I laughed, but this time it was genuine. "My name is Alice." _

"_Isabella." I answer even though the only person that calls me that was my science teacher who refused to call me any of the shortened nicknames I accepted._

"_Where you living?" For a moment I think of lying and telling her I have a nice apartment somewhere close to my new office. However something about the look in her eyes, almost as if they are saying friendship, that makes me speak the truth. _

"_Actually for right now I'm staying in a hotel a few blocks from my job." A smile break across her face as if I just offered to buy her free breakfast for the rest of her life. _

"_Oh my gosh, you can't do that it will cost a fortune." True and the only money I had was the remains of my college fund. Until now I hadn't truly realized how unprepared I was for this. "You want to look at my place, I have an extra room I was planning to rent out." Normally I would think a perfect stranger offering to let you live with them would be weird but somehow this seemed right. _

"_That would be great." _

_The rest of the train ride was spent catching each other up on what our lives has been like up until now. To my embarrassment, I didn't have much to contribute but Alice didn't seem to mind shouldering most of the conversation. She led me from the station, when we arrived, through the busy streets of a Monday morning work commute, to her apartment. Immediately I fell in love. Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me through the entrance and up the stairs. When she opened the door I nearly gasped out loud. On all the walls were the most amazing paintings of all types and subjects. Alice never told me what her job was but seeing these works of art it makes it clear she had incredible talent. _

"_Alice, these are absolutely breathtaking." From the kitchen she looks over at me next to one painting of a cat and dog lying together under a Christmas tree. _

"_Oh they're aren't mine, my boyfriend made them. This makes me pause. Did both Alice and her boyfriend live here? I wasn't ready to be a third wheel especially to people I didn't even really know. "He spends a lot of time traveling to get inspiration so I like to keep these around to make me feel like he's close." I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding and walk over to the bedroom I assume will be mine. Completely unlike the rest of the house, this room is sparsely decorated or furnished. I place the one small bag I took with me and make one rotation around the room to inspect my new living quarters. "You like it." _

"_It's perfect." Her face looks doubtful but she smiles and motions for me to follow her out of the room. _

"_I got to run, I'm already late so I hope you can find your way to work." Momentarily I panic. I feel like a child whose on her own for the first time with nobody to help or tell her what to do or where to start. Then I realize that's exactly my situation. Alice hands me a piece of paper with a phone number written in bubble letter scrawl. "If you need me I'll be at the studio until about 8." Slipping the paper into my pocket I glance up. _

"_The studio?" _

"_Dance studio, I teach girls the art of tap, jazz and of coarse hip-hop." For some reason this doesn't surprise me. "Have a good day. Good luck." Just as fast as she swept into my life she twirls out the door. Checking my watch I grab purse quickly and rush from the room and down the stairs. From my purse I take out the directions I got from the train station to the office and start walking back the way me and Alice came earlier. _

_An hour later when I was late and still totally in the dark about where to go, I was cursing myself for ever agreeing to this job and not simply staying in culinary school like my dad wanted. Finally I settled on makeshift bench and dialed the number of my new boss. At least I hoped he still was and hadn't decided he'd made a big mistake in hiring a pathetic nobody with no reporting skills. _

"_Isabella, Isabella…" Was I of so little importance that he could just forget me already? "Oh right, is that article ready for me?" I swallowed. I hadn't even been assigned a story to cover yet but now didn't seem like the time. _

"_Not yet but.." _

"_Just make sure you have it on my desk but 9 am Friday." Immediately the phone clicks off, disconnecting us before I get a chance to ask how to get there. Just as I go to stand up something slides under my foot. I attempt to grab anything to prevent myself from plummeting down the steps to the subway but there's nothing within reach. As I tumbled down the stairs I catch a glimpse of what made me slip. A beer bottle. After that everything goes black. _

_My eyes open to the most beautiful sight. A man in a white jacket stands before me looking down at a clipboard. When he looks up and seems me awake he smiles and I swear the room gets brighter. _

"_Well hello there. How are you feeling?" It takes me a second to register the pain in my ribs and the stinging in my head. Slowly I lift my hand to my head and feel a large bump. I wince. _

"_A little dizzy." The doctor nods and jots something down on his medical pad. While his does this my eyes flick to his nametag. Edward. From now on that name will never be the same to me._


End file.
